


Seven Minutes in Heaven (Heaven Optional)

by bboiseux



Series: Critical Role Campaign 2 [37]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: And one penis, Awkward Conversations, Deep Conversations, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Kissing, Makeouts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-19
Updated: 2018-11-19
Packaged: 2019-08-25 18:28:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16665976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bboiseux/pseuds/bboiseux
Summary: The Mighty Nein play seven minutes in heaven.  It's just a little fun, you know![Started and vaguely taking place during the gang's time in Hupperdook.]Reading Time:abt 27 minutes.





	1. The First Spin

**Author's Note:**

> Originally a series of posts on [my tumblr.](https://bboiseux.tumblr.com%22)

Yasha dangled Jester’s Wand of Smiles an arm’s length away between her thumb and forefinger and looked at her friends seated in a circle on the floor.

“So I put this on the floor and spin it and whoever it points at I take them and we shut ourselves in that closet for seven minutes?”

Across from her in the circle, Jester was bouncing in place.  “Yes!  It’s lots of fun.”

Yasha placed the wand in the middle of the circle.  Looking over at Molly, he grinned and shrugged his shoulders.  “I—I don’t understand what the point is.”  She shot a look at Caleb who had excused himself from the game and was perched on the bed, book on his lap.

“It’s really straightforward,” said Jester, “The wand points at someone and you and that person go into the closet and, well, you do whatever you want to do, okay!?”  Her eyebrows waggled salaciously.  “You know, whatever you want.”  She attempted a couple winks but only managed to look like she was blinking.

“I don’t—I don’t really know?”

Beau smacked Yasha on the arm.  “She means make out or fuck.  That’s what she’s saying.  You go into the closet and if the two of you want to screw around you do and if one of you doesn’t then you don’t.  That’s it.”

“It only takes you seven minutes to fuck?”

Molly burst into laughter and applause from the other side of Yasha and Beau flushed hot.  “Listen, it’s some Podunk game for kids who are too scared to touch each other.  Like, you get forced in the closet and maybe that girl you like turns out to actually like you back and you get to touch her tits or shove your tongue in her mouth or maybe even get some finger action.  That’s it.  And if she doesn’t like you back, you just talk or sit in silence for seven minutes. It’s teenager bullshit.”  Beau shrugged.  “But it can be fun, I guess.  You know, if you’re drunk enough.”  She finished off her beer and tossed the mug over her shoulder.

“You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to,” said Fjord from across the circle, “It’s just some stupid fun.  If it’s not fun, don’t do it.”

“But it can be really really fun!” said Jester, elbowing Fjord.

“Oh, no no no.  I want to play. I just wanted to understand.”  Yasha touched a finger to one side of the wand and gave it a powerful flick.

The wand spun in place, a blur slowing until the point inched around the circle and finally landed on Nott.

“Me?”  Nott’s eyes were wide.

Jester jumped up from next to Nott and grabbed her hands, pulling her up into a dance.  “You and Yasha get to go first,” she sang, “Into the closet with you!”  And she began shoving Nott towards the open door.

Yasha stood, her powerful legs lifting her in one smooth motion (next to her, Beau chewed at her lip, fighting back a whine), and followed Nott into the closet.

Jester closed the door and turned to Molly.  “Start the timer!”

With a flourish, Molly placed a sand timer in the middle of the broken circle.


	2. Yasha & Nott

It was cramped.  Yasha’s shoulders hit the door and the wall, but she hunched over and slid to a crouching position so she was closer to eye level with Nott.

“So …” began Nott, “Do we have to make out now?”  She grinned uncomfortably at Yasha.

“I don’t think so.  I do not want to, personally.”

“Oh thank god,” said Nott quickly, “No offense, but you are definitely not my type.”

“If you don’t mind my asking, what is your type?”

Nott looked off into some imaginary distance.  “Oh, probably some handsome halfling man who could sweep me off my feet.  Buy me pretty dresses and rocks and things.  He’d buy us a farm with a little cottage and we’d settle down to raising a family.”  She smiled broadly at the thought.  “Something like that.”

“That is quite the type,” said Yasha carefully.

“Well, what about you?  What’s your type?”

“Oh, ah, well.”  Yasha crinkled up her face in thought.  “I don’t know if I have a type right now.  It’s—it’s been a lot recently and I don’t really, well, I don’t really think about it.”

“Did you have a type in the past?”

Oh, um,”  Yasha seemed to stumble over her words.  “No, I don’t think I had a type.”  And she sank into silence.  Something on Yasha’s face told Nott not to press any further.

Unfortunately, Nott wasn’t very good at reading people.

“Did you ever kiss anybody?  Or maybe just hug?  A little reach around action?”

Yasha stared at Nott blankly.  “I do not think I want to talk about any of this.”

“Is it—”  Nott seemed to hesitated for the first time and she leaned in, speaking in just a whisper.  “—is it because you’re a Xhorhasian spy?”

The look Yasha gave Nott could only be described as sardonic.  “Yes, Nott.  It’s because I’m a Xhorhasian spy.  I can’t believe you saw through me.”

“I knew it!”  Nott bounced up, waving her arms in victory.

“Of course, that means I have to kill you now.”  Yasha’s face didn’t show an ounce of mirth or levity.

Nott leapt for the door, grappling on to the handle and fighting to be released.  “Help!  Help!  She’s a spy! She’s going to kill me!”

Yasha reached up with one hand and pulled Nott off the door.  She set her down on the floor.

“Nott, I am not a spy.  It was a joke.”  Yasha gave a half-hearted attempt at a smile.  “Ha. Ha.”

Nott was still on the defensive, her finger jabbing the air towards Yasha.  “Ah ha!  Exactly what a spy would say!”

Yasha crossed her arms and settled back.  A long silence stretched on until Nott settled back too.  She eyed Yasha uncertainly.

“Well, I’ll trust you for now …”

“I’m incredibly relieved.”

The lapsed into another silence until Yasha said, “So, uh, you don’t want to be a goblin, huh?”

Nott shifted uncomfortably.  “Would you?”

Yasha shrugged.  “I don’t know.  I’ve never been a goblin.  I thought it might be fun to be so small.  People might not be scared of you.”

Nott scrunched up her face in a scowl.  “People are scared of you.  And they hate you.”  She picked at her nails, ripping one off.  “I’d like to be big like you though.  Then no one would mess me.”

Yasha shook her head.  “You could never hide.  You know how it feels when someone is staring at you?”  Yasha wasn’t even looking at Nott anymore.

Nott nodded.

“Well, being big is getting that stare all the time.  Everyone is always looking. You can’t shrink away.  You can’t hide.  I wish I could hide like you.”  She turned her eyes to Nott. 

“But when you’re big and strong you can beat up anyone who messes with you!”  Nott was no longer slouched in place, but vibrating with excitement.  “If I was a big and anyone tried to mess with me, I’d smack around and show them who was boss.”

“And what if you didn’t want to fight?”

Nott looked confused.  “Sometimes you have to fight.”

Yasha sighed.  “Many times I wish sometimes was less frequent, that is all.  I think being smaller might help with that.”

The two lapsed into silence again, the seven minutes steadily ticking by.

Finally, Nott muttered, “I thought big people just liked to fight.”

“Appearances can be deceptive.”

The closet door swung open to reveal a wide-eyed Jester.  After a quick glance, she crumpled in disappointment and shouted over her shoulder, “It’s okay, everyone, they’re not fucking!”

***

“So now I have to spin it?” asked Nott, eyeing the wand with suspicion, “And then go back in that closet?”

“You don’t have to do anything, Nott,” said Jester, leaning into her vision, “But didn’t you have fun with Yasha?”

Nott glanced at Yasha sitting next to her and said, “Yeah.  Yeah.  Good talk.  Good talk.”

“So spin!” Jester through he hands into the air in excitement

Nott smacked the wand and it started spinning sideways around the circle, almost running into Fjord, until it slowed to a stop.  It was pointing at Molly.

“Well, well, well,” he said, “Aren’t we going to have some fun?”

“Are we?” said Nott, voice wavering with uncertainty.

“Oh, yes.”  As they entered the closet, Molly shot her a cutting smile.


	3. Nott & Molly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter treats Nott as an adult and there is some discussion of sex (but no actual sexual content or even kissing). If you are not comfortable with that, skip to the next chapter!

“Want to make out?”

They had just settled into the dark space when Molly asked.

“Um, no?“ said Nott, "Is it okay to say no?”

Molly burst into a fit of enthusiastic laughter. “Just fucking with you.  I’ve got you pegged as the monogamous type.  Wouldn’t want you cheating on your boy Caleb out there.”

Nott blustered, puffing up her cheeks.  “I am not—we are not—we are very good friends!” she shouted.

Molly was clutching his sides as the laughter overwhelmed him.  “I’m sorry.  I’m sorry.  It was just such low hanging fruit.”  He let out a relieved sigh.  “No, we don’t have to make out.  We can do whatever’s comfortable for you.”

“Wait.”  Nott paused as if considering her thoughts.  “Do you really want to make out with me?”

“Sure!” said Molly enthusiastically, “If you’re willing and you’re of age, why not?”

Nott looked down at herself in the dim light coming from under the closet door.  “You’ve seen goblins, right?  We’re hideous, disgusting monsters!”

“And I’m a demon made to corrupt the innocent,” said Molly, “Or so I’ve been told.  And perhaps it is an apt description.”  He laughed.  “But I enjoy my time anyway.  I don’t really worry about the general perceptions of others.  So, yeah, I’d make out with you.  If you were interested.”

“Oh.  I guess that’s kind of flattering, if weird.”

Molly shrugged.

“I was never much for that kind of thing anyway.  Well, sexual relations, you know.  We goblins don’t really do making out.”

“But they do call it sexual relations?”

“Oh, well, I call it sexual relations.  Most of my clan just call it the Orgy.  Everyone gets worked up into a lather and the whole clan gets in a huge naked pile and just starts rutting and biting at everything.  It’s real crazy-like and you don’t know if you’re going to have sex or get a finger—or worse bit off—and afterwards the whole clan is just knocked out for days.  And then a few weeks later all the babies come popping out!”  Nott paused.  “And we eat some of them and others grow up to be big goblins.”

Molly tapped the side of his chin.  He wore a bemused and slightly disgusted look on his face.   “Although I’m tempted to ask more questions about your clan’s whole … method, I’m more intrigued by the implication.  Are you saying that, you, Nott the Brave, have been part of an orgy?”

“I am of child bearing age!”

“So is that a yes?” asked Molly pointedly.

“Oh, well—” Nott fiddled with her gloves.  She’d meant to take them off once they were back in their room.  “—that is, no, not really.  None of the other goblins were interested in me.”  Nott shot up a defiant look.  “But I wasn’t interested either!  Who would want to have—” She gagged. “—sex with something like a goblin.”

“Hm.”  Molly watched Nott carefully in the darkness, then he tossed the conversation aside with a wave of his hand.  “Well, if you’re ever up for anything you let me know.”

“Um, yeah, okay.  Uh, that’s—that’s sort of nice of you to say at least.  I don’t think I’ll take you up on it though.”

“Perfectly okay,” said Molly, “I just think you should know that it’s an option.  It’s nice to have options.”  He smiled down at Nott.  “So, what’s the biggest explosion you’ve ever caused?”

Nott’s eyes lit up.  “There was this one time …”

When Jester opened the door with a bang a few minutes later, Nott was still excitedly telling the story.

***

Molly placed his finger next to the wand with a theatrical flourish.  He looked slyly around the circle, eyeing up the group.  “Everyone ready?”

He gave the wand a wild spin and it careened around the circle, bouncing off of Jester’s knee, flipping into the air and finally landing with a clack back in the middle of the circle.  After a moment’s wobble, it stopped … pointing directly at Jester.  She jumped up with excitement and ran for the closet.


	4. Molly & Jester

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning for the appearance of the rare and exotic Mollymauk penis.

“Want to make out?”

Jester squeaked at the question and clapped her hands.  “Oh my goodness, Molly, can you believe I have never made out with another tiefling?”

“No!” said Molly, with an exaggerated gasp, “Well, we can’t let that oversight continue.  Certainly not.”

He reached out and drew her towards him.  Jester closed her eyes and, in that moment before their lips touched, she wondered how Molly would kiss.  Would it be a quick peck?  Would it be a full, closemouthed smush?  Would he nibble at her lips?  Would he use his tongue?  And then he was there.

His mouth was hot and moist and Jester’s lips opened a little to the slide of him against her.  His hand rested on the back of her head and held her close and his tongue teased her, running across the edge of her mouth.  Jester steadied herself against his shoulders, holding on to him with both hands.  He pulled back, his tongue giving one last brush against her top teeth.

Molly was smiling.  “So, what do you think of tiefling make outs?”

Jester licked her lips and then shot him a pronounced pout and crossed her arms.  “I think that was hardly what I would call make outs.”

Molly laughed, head back, horns almost smacking the wall.  “Well, of course, darling.  I was just giving you an appetizer.”

This time he squirmed around and straddled her and then cradled her face in his heads.  The kiss was intense: a warm press, almost bruising, his tongue sliding along hers.  Jester gasped into his open mouth and grasped at his butt, pulling him tight against her torso.

She broke away and giggled when she felt a hard press in Molly’s pants.  She glanced down and shot him a grin.  “Are you excited, Molly?”

He grinned back.  “Well, of course!”

Jester looked down again, this time more steadily, eying the bulge.  She chewed at her lip.  “Can I—“ She giggled again and her eyes flickered to the door and then up to Molly’s face.  “Can I see it?  I like to make a comparison in dicks.”

Molly fell backwards with a guffaw, hitting the floor of the closet with a thud and knocking his head on the wall.  He rubbed his head and then began to work at the ties on his pants.  “Well, I hope I can compare to your extensive experience.”

Jester stared intently at his crotch as he loosened the opening.  She waved her hand.  “Oh, I don’t judge.  I’ve see all types!”

Molly whipped it out (wincing a little as he worked it out of the opening in its … stiff state).

Jester clapped!  “Oh, Molly, it’s beautiful!”  She tilted her head from side to side.  “Very good dimensions—“  She caught Molly’s eye.  “—You know they can be too thin or too short or any combination which is, eh, but yours is just right!”

“Well, I always knew I had quality, but it’s nice to hear from a professional.”

“And the color!”  She made a smacking sound with her lips.  “Just beautiful.  Can I touch it?”

“I suppose while we’re being exhaustive.”

Jester gave it a little poke with her finger and then gripped it firmly.  Molly grunted and sighed.

“Careful there, we don’t want to go too far.”  Molly winked.  “We don’t have nearly enough time to do anything properly.”

Jester gave him a skeptical look.  “I don’t know about that.  I’ve seen people get off really quickly.”

“Ah, but I am not _people_.”

That was when Nott pulled open the door, froze, and then slammed it shut with a squeal.

***

Jester settled into her spot again and gave Nott a big squeeze.  “It’s okay, Nott.”

“But you had—“  She stared wide-eyed at Molly and then pointed.  “He had his—“

“Shhhh.  What happens in the closet stays in the closet.  That’s the whole point of the game!  Okay, my turn!”

Jester grabbed the wand, gave it a spin, and then clasped her hands together in front of her. “Come on, come on, come on, come on … .”

The wand slowed to a stop, pointing at Nott, and then Jester, and then … Fjord.

Jester leapt into the air with a “Yes!”


	5. Jester & Fjord

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess this is technically canon adjacent now, but . . . *shrugs*

“Soooooo want to make out?” asked Jester, “It could be fun!”

Even in the dim light of the closet, she could make out the slight darkening of Fjord’s cheeks.

“Ah, no, I don’t think that’d be a good idea.”

Jester stuck out her lip in a pronounced pout.  “Don’t you want to have some fun?”

“Now, Jess, you know I’m all about fun.  I just don’t know if that’s something we should do.”

“But no one else will have to know!  It will just be us!  Wouldn’t it be fun to know what it’s like?”

“I—”  Fjord took a deep breath.  “I mean, sure, it could be fun, but—”

“But!?”  Jester bounced impatiently.  “Come on, Fjord, what’s the point of being shoved in the closet, if you’re not going to have any fun.”

Fjord huffed out a little laugh.  “Alright. I’ll make you a deal.  Okay?”

Jester seized at the little glimmer of hope.  “Okay … this better be pretty good …”

“If you can convince me that the best thing we can do right now is kiss, then I’ll kiss you.  How’s that sound?”

Jester clapped her hands. “That sounds pretty good!”

Immediately, she started working at her thumb, eyes flicking back and forth.

Fjord leaned back and smiled, arms crossed.  “Any thoughts there, Jess?  We’ve had a lot of good talks in the past.  I miss that.”

Jester gave him a sly look and pointed at him.  “Ah, but you won’t kiss me because I’m a good talker.”

“I think you’d be surprised. Give it a shot.”

“Hmmm.”  Her look was still wary, but then morphed into a wide grin. “Nope!  I have a better idea!”  Jester raised her fist in the air, letting it hang for a moment by the door.

Fjord leaned forward, arms uncrossing, a concerned look spreading on his face.  “Now wait a sec—”

Jester let her fist fall and there was a light thud against the door.  “Oh!” she moaned, “Oh, Fjord!”

“Now, Jess—"

Jester beat rhythmically against the door, punctuating each thud with a moan.  “Oh!  Oh! Oh!”  she screeched, “It’s so big!  Oh, Fjord!  Harder! Deeper!”  The pounding grew faster, louder, and the volume of Jester’s cries crew with them.  “Oh! Yes! Yes! Y—”

Fjord gripped Jester’s shoulder and jerked her towards him, smashing her face against his.  Jester’s arms immediately wrapped around him and held him tight.  For a moment, they just clung together in an awkward pile, lips working at one another, Jester trying not to laugh and ruin the moment, and then she pulled back with a gasp.

Jester pumped her hands in the air.  “I win!”

***

Fjord’s face was still radiating heat and he couldn’t even look at Jester, so, instead, he gave the wand a powerful flick and watched it careen back and forth around the circle before finally finding its center and spinning in a blur.  As it began to slow, Jester squealed as it passed her and bounced in place as it came back around to her.  But it finally settled on … Fjord himself.

“Well, what does that mean?  Do I go spend some quality time in the closet by myself?”  He took a swig of his beer and started to push himself up.  “Alrighty.”

Jester hugged his arm and pulled him back down with a thud.  “No.  That just means you spin again.”

Fjord gave the wand a haphazard kick and it wobbled around the circle again, settling on Molly.

Molly flashed Fjord a grin.  “Oh the fun we’re going to have for seven minutes.”

“It’s not pointing at Molly,” shrieked Nott, pointing, “It’s pointing at Caleb!”

Jester crawled over and laid her head on the floor, lining her eye up with the wand.  For a moment, she was perfectly still, so still that everyone leaned in to check if she had fallen asleep, but then her head popped up and she said, “She’s right!  It’s Caleb!”

Caleb, sitting on the bed, clearly outside the circle, held up a hand.  “I am not playing.”

“Oh, come on, Caleb,” said Jester, “It will be fun.  You don’t have to do anything.”

“Now, Jess,” said Fjord, “If he doesn’t want to, I’ll just spin again.”

“ _Danke_ , Fjord.”

The wand spun into motion again and this time it landed on Beau.

“Really?” she said, then she shrugged. “Whatever.  Let’s do this thing.”

Fjord and Beau headed for the closet.


	6. Fjord & Beau

Beau settled back, arms crossed, looking smug.  “So, have fun with Jester?”

“Ah, it’s not what you think.”  Fjord was blushing, he could feel it on his cheeks and necks.  “Jester was just messing around with those noises.  We didn’t do anything.”

“Uh huh.”  Beau nodded her head disbelievingly.  “You know that Jester wears blue lipstick?”

“Uh, what?”

“Yep.  You wouldn’t think about it because, well, she’s blue, but she totally puts that shit on every morning.”

“Um …”

“What I’m saying is, your lips are smeared with blue lipstick.”

Fjord’s hands jerked towards his face and he wiped at his lips with the cuff of his shirt  Beau laughed so hard her sides hurt.

Between her chuckles, Fjord said, “It wasn’t anything, I just couldn’t shut her up any other way.”

“Mhm.  Mhm.  Okay.  Sure.  No other way to shut someone up.”  She spilled back into laughter.

“There’s—there’s nothing going on.”

Beau gasped for breath and then waved Fjord’s concerns away.  “Shit man, I know that.  You think I wouldn’t know if you and Jester were getting down and dirty?  Jester would want to tell me all the details.  And then I’d have to send her to Nott because—no offense—I don’t want to hear about your dick.”

Fjord sputtered (he could swear his face was on fire), but he pulled himself together and said, “Jester’s just a friend.  Nothing more there.”

In the darkness, Fjord couldn’t see Beau’s face very well, but he guessed she wasn’t buying it.  But then, to his surprise, she changed topics.

“Well, what about Caleb?”

Fjord shot her a look.  “What about Caleb?”

Beau shrugged.  “You two clearly have some kind of a thing going on.”

“We do not have a thing going on.”

“Alright.  I’m just saying that if I was a dude and I was into dudes—”

“So we’re going extremely hypothetical here then?”

“—I’d crack that ass wide open.”

“For god’s sake, Beau!”

“What?”  Beau smirked as she rested her elbows on her knees.

“You know what.  I—I don’t—that is—” Fjord sighed.  “Caleb is clearly not in a good mental place.  I don’t know what his deal is, but I—I don’t really have it in to me to help with something like that.  That make sense?”

Beau gave him a cock-eyed look.  “I mean, if you want to get it, get it.  It’s always worked for me.”

“I think the problem here, Beau, is that I don’t want to get it.  That one and done thing might be alright for you, but it doesn’t work for me.  And I’ve got to worry about party dynamics.  What happens if any of us got involved with each other?  Hell, what happens if you and Yasha sleep together?  You think that wouldn’t have any impact on us as a team?”

Beau squirmed and readjusted her legs, crossing them and leaning back.  “Eh, that’s not going to happen anyway.  She’s not interested.”

“You sure about that?”

“Yeah, I mean, if she was interested, something would have happened right?  I’m pretty sure she said she’s not in the place for that.  Hitting on her is just a bit of fun.  She doesn’t seem to mind, but it’s not going to go anywhere.”

“And if it does?”

“Then I get a badass woman crushing my head between her thighs?”

“You know, Beau, you really don’t think through—”

Light flooded into the closet as Jester flung the door open.  “You two better not be having too much fun!”

***

Right now, the wand was slowing down, Beau watching it with eager eyes.  The spin of it was glacial now, but it was still moving.  Fjord.  Fjord.  Fjord.  Fjord.  Molly. Molly.  Molly.  Molly.  Molly.  Molly.

“Oh fuck no,” said Beau.

Then just a dribble past to … Yasha!

Beau pumped her arms and fell backwards onto the floor.

Jester was clapping her hands with joy.  Next to her, Fjord was rolling his eyes.

“Okay, you two,” said Jester, “Into the closet!”

Yasha stood up slowly (in one fluid movement, like an iceberg breaching the surface) and reached down a hand to Beau, pulling her to her feet.  “Come on,” she said, Beau trailing behind her.

The closet door closed behind them.

Jester giggled.


	7. Beau & Yasha

Stuffed together in the closet, knees knocking together, Beau and Yasha were facing each other, each crossing their arms tightly.

Beau gave Yasha a quick nod.  “Hey.”

“Uh, hey,” said Yasha.

“So, uh, you want to do anything?”  Beau tried to indicate through the slump of her body that it was no big deal either way.  She didn’t care.  Whatever.

“I, uh, that is—it depends on what anything is.”

Beau perked up a little.  “Oh! Um, well, what would you like to do?”

“We could talk?”

Before Yasha had finished the last word, Beau nodded her head.  “Oh, yeah, right.  Yeah, we can talk.  That’s cool.”  She trailed off, her eyes wandering with her words.  Then her head jerked up.  “You’re just, um, really badass, you know?  Like, I wanted you to know that because you’re one of the most badass women I’ve ever met.”

“Oh, uh, thank you.”  Yasha squirmed in her seat, her large body struggling to find space.

“No, uh, I know it seems strange, but I’m serious.  Like—”  Beau grasped at the air like she hoped to pull the words out of nothing.  “—I thought you were, well, hot as fuck, when I first saw you because—” She laughed.  “—shit, those arms, those legs, those abs.  Fuck, those eyes.  I don’t need to keep going right?”  She stopped, waiting for Yasha to fill in the gap, but she just watched Beau, her face impassive.  So Beau kept going.  “I guess that makes me seem shallow, huh?  Just in it for the sexy girls.”  She scratched at her undercut.  “Which, fair enough.  I guess I am.  Sometimes.  Women are just fucking amazing, right?”

Yasha was careful with her words.  “They are pleasant, yes.”

Beau nodded vigorously.  “Right!  And look—look, I get it that you’re not in a place for anything.  I get that.  I’m just in it for fun and I don’t want you to get the wrong idea about me.  Just, you know, you were fucking breathtaking when I first saw you and I was like ‘Yeah, there’s a woman I’d like to crush me good.’  But then I saw you at the circus—with your sword and your rage—and—and see that’s when I really understood breathtaking.  You were so fucking strong.  And every time you rush in and get up in some shithead's business—well, you know, I just—wow.  You are amazing.  I just wanted you to know that.”

Beau settled back against the wall and crossed her arms again.

“I—”  Yasha paused and regarded Beau too.  “I think you are also amazing.  With what you can do with your fists.  It is impressive.”

“Oh, uh, thanks,” said Beau, “But you don’t have to say it back.  I just—just wanted to say it because I haven’t really … said it and I thought it was worth saying.”  Beau paused.  “I sound like a fucking idiot.”

“You do not.  If, uh—”  Yasha stared intensely up at the ceiling.  “If I thought that I would have to be, uh, very down on myself, wouldn’t I?”  She swiveled her eyes to  Beau.  “So please do not insult me after all those kind words.”

Beau groaned.  “Shit, I’m sorry.  Look, I’m a bit of a fuck up and—”

“You are not.”  Yasha cut off Beau’s sentence with an uncharacteristically terse tone.

“Oh.”  Beau just looked at Yasha for a moment, then she tilted her head to the side, listening.

Through the door, Beau could just make out Jester’s attempt at a whisper: “Okay, everyone.  On the count of three, I open the door.  Ooooone …”

“Here comes, Jest-“

Yasha shot forward and pecked Beau on the lips, pulling back just as quickly as the closet door slammed open with a cry of “Surprise!” from Jester.

Beau froze, wide-eyed.

“Well,” said Jester, as Yasha emerged from the closet, “how was your first game of seven minutes in heaven?”

**Author's Note:**

> I am also [bboiseux on tumblr](https://bboiseux.tumblr.com/).
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